Managing A Toxic Divorce

Divorce proceedings can be painful and challenging for everyone involved. But toxic partners can make things worse. More often than not, high-conflict spouses will lengthen the duration of the divorce proceedings and create numerous problems that prevent successful redressal.

Tips on how to manage a toxic, high-conflict divorce

Recognize the signs of a high-conflict divorce

High-conflict divorces are characterised by extensive conflict and the repeated escalation of even minor issues. This conflict can occur before, during, and after the divorce.

According to sociologist Tan Ern Ser from the National University of Singapore, today, younger couples are more at risk of having a high-conflict divorce. This results from younger and recently-married couples are less bound by tradition than older couples. They are more likely to go after what they want.

If yours is a high-conflict divorce, you might notice the following signs:

• Your partner is never happy with any of the terms of the divorce.
• Your partner blames you for the failure of the marriage and refuses to take responsibility.
• Your partner constantly tries to colour your words and actions in negative ways or raises accusations about you.
• Your partner tries to anger you or guilt you into doing something you don’t want to do.
• Your partner constantly disputes your claim to a share of what is rightfully yours (this could include finances, child custody, property ownership etc.).
• Your partner displays animosity and distrust towards you and refuses to have a calm discussion.
• Your ex-partner stalks you, harasses you, spreads libel about you or threatens you physically after you have split up.

Once you recognize these signs, it’s easier to seek help from a divorce lawyer.

GJC Law - High-Conflict divorce lawyers by your side

A high-conflict divorce lawyer has extensive experience working with clients whose spouses have high-conflict narcissistic personalities and have handled many such cases.

Our divorce lawyers can guide you about what you must do when interacting with your high-conflict spouse before the divorce, so you can achieve a judgement in your best interest.

Stay calm

When you’re in the midst of a high-conflict divorce, it’s essential to stay calm and make smart decisions, as this will help you ensure you get the best outcomes in your divorce. So, even if your partner tries to torment you or guilt you into something, remain calm and objective. Our divorce lawyers will work with you to help you navigate tricky conflict-ridden situations successfully.

Share your concerns with your loved ones

Keeping your family and friends in the loop about your divorce is essential. A partner with a high-conflict personality can be unpredictable. It’s necessary to have the right support structure in place, so you can ask for help whenever you need it.

One of the things that high-conflict personalities are good at during a divorce is emotionally affecting children and sabotaging their relationship with the other parent. Your support structure will help care for your children and protect them from being dragged through a messy and toxic divorce.

Related Article: Custody & Access Evaluation in High Conflict Divorce

Don’t try to get back at your spouse

Yes, it can be tempting to pay your partner back with the same coin when they’ve been nasty to you during the divorce. But, it’s necessary to stay on the right side of the law. So, seek your divorce lawyer’s opinion before you do anything and resist the urge to get back at them.

Take care of your mental health

A toxic divorce can be excruciating on your mental health and wellbeing. Therefore, you must implement self-care to prevent becoming overwhelmed by the experience. Walks in nature, listening to music, getting a spa treatment, cooking, and spending time with loved ones, can all be rejuvenating and healing for your mental health.