Co-authored by Gloria James and Sandra Ong
When parents go through a divorce, these questions become crucial, and the courts must evaluate each parent’s suitability in a way that protects the child’s best interests.
But what exactly does the court consider when determining who should have primary care and control?
Understanding these factors can help parents confidently prepare their case and focus on the aspects that truly matter to the court.
What the Court Looks for in a Primary Caregiver
The court’s central concern is the child’s wellbeing. While it’s natural for each parent to feel they are the best caregiver, the court assesses specific factors to decide what arrangement serves the child’s interests best.
1. Demonstrated Past and Present Care
Courts prioritise consistency and attentiveness. Parents should provide concrete examples showing past efforts to care for their child. Actions like attending medical appointments, taking leave for childcare, or actively engaging in the child’s daily life highlight a parent’s dedication and responsibility.
2. Bond and Attachment
The relationship between each parent and the child plays a significant role. Has one parent spent more time bonding with the child, especially during formative years? Courts often consider the depth of each parent’s connection, particularly if one parent has been the primary caregiver since the child was born.
3. Future Caregiving Plans
The court is interested in how each parent plans to care for the child moving forward. This includes the stability of the home environment and arrangements to support the child’s education, social life, and health. A structured, stable plan can show the court that a parent is well-prepared to meet ongoing caregiving needs.
4. Support for Co-parenting
Courts value parents who encourage a positive relationship with the other parent. Showing a willingness to support the child’s connection to both parents, signals maturity and prioritises the child’s emotional needs, reducing potential conflict that can affect the child.
5. The Child’s Wishes (When Age-Appropriate)
If the child is mature enough to form an independent opinion, the court may consider their preferences. However, young children are generally not expected to choose between parents, as this can cause the children undue stress and emotional strain.
What Factors Might a Court Consider Against a Parent?
Courts also look at factors that might make a parent less suitable as a sole caregiver:
Unhealthy Lifestyle or Decision-Making
: If a parent has shown behaviours that could affect their judgment or lifestyle stability, the court may view them as a less reliable caregiver.
Behaviour Against the Child’s Best Interests
: Any evidence that a parent has acted in ways harmful to the child’s emotional or physical wellbeing can weigh heavily against them. For instance, sudden change of environments, restricting the other parent’s access, or creating an unstable environment could raise red flags.
Additional Considerations for Family Stability
Two other important factors come into play when determining child custody:
Continuity of Living Arrangements
: Courts typically prefer solutions that allow children to stay in familiar surroundings. Moving can be challenging for children, so a parent’s plan that keeps the child in their existing home environment is often viewed positively.
Keeping Siblings Together
: The court usually seeks to avoid separating siblings, as a unified family environment supports emotional wellbeing.
Other Factors Which the Court May (or May Not) Consider
Not everything will influence the court’s decision. For example, the court does not automatically favour mothers for daughters or fathers for sons, nor does it consider a parent’s minor disorder, like obsessive-compulsive traits, as disqualifying unless it impacts caregiving abilities.
Conclusion
For parents asking, “What does the court consider when deciding which is the better parent to care for their children?” the answer lies in focusing on practical, demonstrated actions and future plans that align with the child’s best interests.
At GJC Law, we support our clients through every step of this challenging process, offering expert guidance based on extensive experience in family law, mediation, and conflict resolution. Our team is committed to helping clients present their strongest case, while aiming for solutions that promote stability and minimize disruption for children.
Whether through comprehensive legal representation or alternative dispute resolution, we tailor our services to each family’s unique needs, always prioritising the wellbeing of our clients and their families.
For many parents, the pain of being separated from their children due to unfair access or manipulation by the other parent is a deep and enduring struggle. Parental alienation, where a child is turned against one parent by the other, has long been a hidden wound for many families.
Now, new legal measures in Singapore provide hope for frustrated parents alienated from their children.
I’ve seen cases where one parent was systematically erased from their child’s life through lies and manipulation, and it is damaging not just to the parent but to the child’s emotional development.”
~ Ms Gloria James
For the alienated parent, the experience is devastating. Imagine missing years of your child’s milestones because your ex-spouse has poisoned the relationship. This can lead to feelings of helplessness, anger, and despair.
Key Changes in Child Access Enforcement for 2025
Starting January 2, 2025, Singapore will introduce significant reforms to child access enforcement, bringing renewed hope to parents affected by alienation. The measures, announced by the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF), aim to promote co-parenting harmony and ensure the welfare of children.
Key changes include:
Counselling and Mediation
- Parents who breach access orders may be required to attend mandatory counselling or mediation sessions to address conflicts and foster healthier co-parenting relationships.
Make-Up Access and Compensation
- Courts can order additional access time for parents who were unfairly denied their time with their children.
- Compensation for expenses, such as prepaid travel or accommodation costs, can be claimed if a breach occurs.
Security Pledges and Performance Bonds
- To ensure compliance, parents may need to provide a financial guarantee, such as a performance bond.
Penalties for Non-Compliance
- Persistent breaches without legitimate reasons can result in penalties, including fines or, as a last resort, jail terms for the parent with care and control of the child.
Simplified Enforcement Process
- Changes to the Family Justice Rules will streamline enforcement, reducing the time and costs associated with court proceedings. The burden of proof shifts to the parent with care and control to explain any alleged breaches, making enforcement less burdensome for the other parent.
A New Hope for Parents
These reforms signal a progressive shift in Singapore’s family law, prioritising the child’s well-being while supporting parents in maintaining meaningful relationships with their children. Courts now recognise parental alienation as a serious issue and are taking stronger steps to address it.
“Parents often come to us feeling defeated, but we remind them that the law is on their side, and action can be taken,” ~ Ms Sandra Ong
Real Stories, Real Solutions
Consider the case of John (not his real name), a father who was denied access to his son for over a year. His ex-spouse had convinced their child that John was uninterested and unfit to parent. With the help of legal intervention and new enforcement measures, John could present evidence of the alienation and regain regular access to his son. Through counselling, their relationship is now being repaired.
“We tell our clients to stay strong and focus on rebuilding their bond with their children. The courts increasingly recognise the seriousness of alienation and take steps to address it,” ~ Ms Gloria James.
Moving Forward Together
Parental alienation is a painful journey, but parents no longer have to face it alone. The enhanced child access orders represent a significant step in ensuring children’s welfare and holding parents accountable for fostering meaningful relationships.
At GJC Law, our dedicated family lawyers are here to provide you with the advice and tools needed to take action. Remember, you have the right to be part of your child’s life; we’re here to help you make that a reality.
